Called Up: An Apology (Part 1)
By Family Minister, Dr. Brandon Steenbock
I already hear the complaints about “Called Up” (my last blog post — read it here).
“It was too vague.”
“Too much Law, not enough Gospel.”
“You just sound angry.”
If you saw the title and came looking for drama—you’ll be disappointed. No drama here. I’m not saying “I’m sorry” for calling you to stand boldly on the truth. This is an Apologia—a defense—because I want to say more.
Have you noticed how easily boldness gets mistaken for arrogance or insensitivity? We buy the lie that if someone’s offended, we must be wrong. But what if you’re right, and people are just easily offended? Truth offends.
Our problem is we’re afraid of being called wrong—and we’re afraid of the consequences when we’re right. This is what I meant in my last post about fear. And this isn’t theoretical:
- The actress dropped from projects after sharing a biblical view of gender.
- The valedictorian whose diploma was withheld for mentioning Jesus.
- The teacher fired for using the “wrong” pronoun.
- The Christian parent silenced at a school board meeting for reading from a school library book.
- The employee told their values “don’t align” after declining to wear a Pride pin.
These are real examples. Not paranoia. Real, mounting pressure. And it demands a response.
But men are prone to the wrong response, and there’s a reason for it: Shame. In all men is this deep-seated fear of being found out to be wrong. It creates a cycle:
Speak truth
Get slammed
Doubt ourselves
Enter fight or flight mode
Flight: Get silent. Delete the post. Apologize and retreat.
Fight: Lash out. Rage-post. Burn bridges.
Our culture is conditioning men to be too soft to matter or too angry to be trusted. Made to feel that conviction with humility is either wickedness or fantasy. It leaves men with this nagging voice inside:
“Am I the villain or the prophet?”
And how do we know the answer? It seems like the only metric left is how many likes we get online.
What if boldness doesn’t look like rage-posting? (And yes—I see the irony of writing this in a blog post. But you need to hear it.) What if being a strong man of truth looks like:
- Doing your homework and showing up to the school board with real solutions.
- Hosting a Bible study for the lost in your college dorm.
- Pushing your pastor to preach Gospel-centered sermons rather than Christian-labeled TED talks.
- Confronting your friend over coffee about his compromised lifestyle.
- Bringing your family to church.
- Ditching the porn for good.
- Loving your wife with intentionality—and for God’s sake (and I mean that)—speaking well of her to your coworkers.
Clarity, conviction, and compassion are the fruit of a heart without fear. A heart that knows winsome is not weakness, anger is not always righteousness, and love is for men.
It starts with identity. When I don’t know who I am, I believe whatever anyone says about me. When I know who I am, I don’t care what other people think. So who are you?
Go to Ephesians 2:1–10 and you’ll find all the answers you could ever want.
Verses 1–3:
Dead in our transgressions. Living the way of the world. Following the lusts of the flesh. Disobedient. Objects of wrath. You were a damned horror.
Verses 4–5:
Loved by the Father. Receiving mercy. Made alive in Christ. Saved from destruction. Covered by grace.
Verses 6–7:
An heir to the kingdom of heaven. Rich beyond compare. An object of God’s affection and a recipient of his glory.
Verses 8–10:
Saved by grace. A masterpiece fashioned by God’s hand—with purpose and direction, reflecting God’s power. You are a glorious wonder.
Chosen by God. Redeemed by Christ. Sent by the Father. Powered by the Spirit.
What are you facing right now? Where have you been tempted to compromise? Where is fear or shame or fight or flight showing up? Remember—those voices are not from your Father. “For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment” (2 Timothy 1:7, CSB).
Listen to the voice of your Father. Confront your temptation to compromise with strength, love, and sound judgment. It’s said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the response to it. That’s good. But I would add: Courage is knowing who you are, and whose you are—and living like the glorious wonder you are.
You have nothing to lose. You were made for this.