Asking the Right Question: God’s Mercy in the Face of Suicide
By Dr. Brandon Steenbock
I wrote this devotional series for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, but if you’ve been reading these, you might have noticed that so far I haven’t actually said anything about suicide. I’ve focused instead on all those dark spots that can easily overwhelm us.
But at some point, we do have to confront the question: Is suicide an unforgivable sin? Whenever it happens, there are the whispers, “How could they be forgiven for that?”
And maybe, in dark hours, when you’ve been at the end of all your strength, you’ve considered the idea, and you’ve wondered, “What would happen to me? Could I be forgiven if I…?”
We need to stop. We need to ask the right question. The question isn’t, “Is suicide the unforgivable sin?” There’s a simple answer to that: No, it’s not. When Jesus talks about an unforgivable sin, he’s referring to a final state of rejection of God’s grace – a situation only God can judge, because only God can look into the heart. But Jesus is not talking about the brokenness and pain we all carry.
That’s not the right question anyway. The right question is, “How big is God’s mercy and grace?” Is it big enough to overcome all my sin and darkness? Is it big enough to overcome even the worst mistakes I might make? Is it truly infinite?
The answer is yes, it is. In Ephesians 3:18, Paul writes about trying to “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge.” God’s love is unfathomable in the truest sense of the word – we can never reach the bottom of it.
And so Paul writes in Romans 5, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.” If we stand in the infinite love of God, how far do you have to go before you are no longer standing in it? Is it even possible? Paul goes on to say in Romans 8, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
We all sin daily. Sometimes by weakness. Sometimes by choice. Sometimes people die by suicide out of overwhelming mental illness or crisis; sometimes due to tragic choices; sometimes both. Mental illness, or emotional distress, can lead us to actions that aren’t always in our control. That doesn’t negate the love and mercy of God. If a person stands in the infinite love, mercy, and grace of God, that forgiving love is big enough to cover that sin, too.
If you’ve been grieving someone who has died by suicide, we grieve with you. And I want you to know that God’s gospel promises still stand. We can’t judge hearts, and mental illness is complex, but if your loved one lived in faith, then they stood in grace. Rest in that.
Now I know the objection: Is this giving permission to hurt themselves? Is this encouraging trifling with God’s grace? Please wait just a moment. This next part is really important.
The answer “no,” this is not permission to hurt yourself. But it is “yes” to seeing the vastness of God’s grace and his compassionate desire to bring you life and healing.
If you are struggling with dark thoughts and feelings, and considering hurting yourself, I want you to know that God does not hate you for that. But I also want you to know that if his love is big enough that he could forgive you for doing it, how much more can he overcome the darkness before you do? What if you could just stand in his grace today, and just trust his infinite love today?
Choose to live today in the infinite love of God. And that has a practical element – getting help. God has given you crisis centers, help lines, loving people who will walk with you and keep you safe. If you’re thinking about hurting yourself, reach out to one of them today.
This isn’t about whether or not you would be forgiven for suicide. It’s about believing that God’s love is bigger than your pain, your fears, your failures, and your darkness. Just rest in that today.
Prayer: Merciful Savior, I trust that your love is infinite. When I’m scared of the choices I might make, help me see that your love is bigger. When I’m scared of the choices others might make, help me to know your love never ends. Amen.
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If you are thinking about hurting yourself right now:
- In the U.S.: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
- Text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
- If you are outside the U.S., contact local emergency services or your country’s crisis line.
- If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.
- Tell a trusted person — a friend, family member, pastor — and ask for help right now.
You are not alone. Get help.
Thank you for reading our special devotional series for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. The rest of this devotional series can be found here.