“As Far as It Depends on You…” – Caring for the Hurting (Romans 12:18)
By Dr. Brandon Steenbock
“Maybe everyone would be better off if I just wasn’t around anymore.” Chilling words from the lady in the coffee stand. I listened quietly, because I didn’t really know what to say. I was 21, helping out at a church for the summer, and she was a prospect. I stopped by a couple times a week for a coffee and a chat. She had a hard life and struggled with dark thoughts and feelings, so when she said these words, I knew I had to check back.
The next day, she wasn’t there. The coffee stand was closed. I asked at the gas station next door if they knew anything, and all they said was, “Yeah, she never showed up.” I was worried. I had her address, so I went over to her apartment, knocked, called her name. No answer. I called the police and told them what she had said. They came and found her alive, but having a bad day and unwilling to go to work. As they finished talking with her, I overheard what felt like a slap in the face.
The officer said, “If you’re ever feeling unsafe, call someone. Maybe like Brandon here.”
She immediately said, “Well, I’m sure as hell not talking to him anymore.”
My heart sank. I drove away feeling like a failure. I was just trying to help. Instead, I’d just pushed her away. But when I talked to my pastor about it, he said, “You might have saved her life. You don’t know what she would have done if no one had checked on her.”
In Romans 12:18, Paul encourages believers, “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with all people.” As far as it depends on you. Paul’s implication is a hard reality – there are things you simply can’t control. Outcomes you can’t decide. We do what we can, but we’re not God.
Maybe you love someone who is struggling, and you want to help. You want to stop the pain, heal the hurt, and save them from danger. There’s only so much you can do – but you can do something.
As far as it depends on you — speak the kind word. Step in when you need to. Be present. But entrust the results to God. You bring God’s grace, and let God handle the results.
Prayer: Lord, help me to love well, to do what I can, and to entrust the outcome to you. Use me in the way that is best, and carry what I cannot. Amen.
Thank you for reading our special devotional series for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. The rest of this devotional series can be found here.